Genuine
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: "Because Kendall is the most genuine person in the world." James can't stand seeing the way girls throw themselves all over Kendall. Pure Kames.


I'd like to smack her, I've decided. I'd like to completely just let loose on her. She's annoying as hell, with her fake blonde hair and those plastic lips and that weird accent that she's making up. I think it's supposed to be a British accent, but it just sounds like she's an idiot. Actually, scratch that, she is an idiot and she's so damn fake. She's plastic fantastic, she's conceited, even worse than me and she's taking up Kendall's time. Time he could be spending on me. Time he should be spending on me.

Carlos is starring off into space, mentally stripping one of the Jennifer's. I don't know which one, I asked him and his only response was "I know, right?". I've given up on him ever saying something that makes sense when the Jennifer's are around.

Logan, meanwhile, is starring off into space as well, mentally calculating something. He had his math face on. I grin at him, catching his attention. He smiles at me sympathetically when he sees the upset look on my face. He bites his lip, glancing past me to see if the BILS (Bitch-I'd-Like-to-Slap) is paying attention. When he sees that she is thoroughly involved in making googly eyes into Kendall's, he mouths "I'm sorry"

I nod, and mouth back "Me too".

Suddenly, Carlos, who is on Kendall's other side, notices me and Logan' silent conversation, my slumped shoulders, a dead giveaway I'm upset about something, and then he notices Kendall's companion. He silently reaches over, smacking Kendall in the back of the head. Logan winces at the sound of the impact on Kendall's head. Carlos is a strong little dude, he's the smallest of us, and he can lift me, the tallest, up. I'm not exactly that light either. Of course, he doesn't do this much, because he just looks like an ant trying to carry a giant bread crumb when he does do it.

Kendall's head moves forward at the impact, his neck popping in protest. He turns around to glare at Carlos, opening his mouth to say something, but Carlos just gives him a look and points at me. I've seen that look on Carlos' face so many times. _You're breaking his heart, Kendall. Knock it off_

Kendall may be the leader, and he may be my boyfriend, but he's also oblivious. He just shakes his head at Carlos, and even though I can't see his expression, I can imagine it. His mouth is slightly open, eyes filled with confusion, his tongue is pressing against his teeth and his nose is wrinkled. I've seen him make this expression as many times as I've seen Carlos give him that look. It's his typical response to that look, because he has yet to figure out what that look means. I should inform him of what it means, so he knocks it off.

This is my fault in the first place anyways. I didn't want to come out. It's not easy, to come out in Hollywood at 17, so I wouldn't let Kendall admit we we're dating. He wanted to desperately, but this was the one time I had put my foot down and not given into what Kendall wanted to happen. Girls are the selling point, Logan has said it enough times and neither Kendall nor I is actually gay, because we still like girls. At least Kendall does. I'm not sure about myself, I haven't seen a girl I find attractive since Kendall claimed me 6 months ago. I'm just so into Kendall, completely enamored, that I don't notice anyone else. I mean, a horde of playboy playmates could streak across the pool deck right now, but I'd be too busy thinking about Kendall to notice. That's the way a relationship should be. Not one person sitting, heart silently breaking, while the other flirts with the BILS.

Carlos points at me again, and Kendall finally understands what Carlos is trying to tell him and he turns around, his mouth opening into a silent "oh". I take one look at him and that's it. I'm done, I can't take it.

I stand slowly, not taking my eyes off of Kendall's face. He shakes his head, motioning for me to sit back down. He looks serious, so I respond to his motions, sitting so I'm facing him, starring into those amazing green eyes.

It's not just me that does what Kendall wants, Carlos and Logan look to him as the leader too. I just do it better, because I'm in love with Kendall. I used to argue with him when he'd get bossy, but these last 6 months, I don't even bother. He just says "Okay" and kisses me and then I'm the one doing the caving.

I know how it kind of bugs Kendall to be argued with. He doesn't let on, but back when he was dating the girl he dated after Jo and the cheating fiasco, he had asked her very nicely to not go out and party if he wasn't there, because he didn't want her getting hurt. She hadn't listened and Carlos and I had seen her on the dance floor with some other guy. I had gotten the full lecture when he had staked his claim on me on exactly why Kendall liked being listened too. So now I just do it. It's not really worth the argument, Kendall loves me and he's not that controlling, but he's concerned about me.

"Bailee, I'm sorry, Can we resume this later?" Kendall asks BILS. She pouts, trying to look cute, but he just shakes his head. She stands up and bounces off (literally, I don't think I've ever seen a pair of boobs moving that much, and I have four sisters, it's like she's fucking trying to bounce.) I vaguely wonder if she's going to have back problems later on, my older sister Lynn had a boob job and it nearly snapped her in half.

Kendall looks at me. "James, are you okay?" he asks, looking worried. I just nod.

"Yeah. I'm just feeling kind of sick; I was going to go lie down" I say, motioning to my stomach. It is upset, but I know exactly why.

Logan helps me out with this one. "You've been in the sun a while, maybe you're getting sunburned' he suggests, knowing how sick I get when I burn. Spray tan saved my life, no joke.

Kendall looks concerned. "Yeah, sure. "he says, allowing me to go. "James." I turn back around at his voice. He motions for me to come back. I retreat. "I love you" he tells me. I nod, still unsure. He doesn't know that, Kendall is many things, but he's not a mind reader.

I make my way to the elevators, mind reeling. He was flirting with that bitch, right in front of me. How messed up was that? I want to scream at her, get your damn hands off his chest, that's mine! I want scream at Kendall to tell her to leave her hands off of what was mine, to not let anyone touch him the way she was. I had the courtesy to do that for him, could he at least try to keep girls off of him?

I walk into 2J, waving at Katie, who is sitting on the couch arguing with her new friend Courtney over whether Joe Jonas or Nick Jonas is better. I'm not even tempted to respond "hello, James Diamond, in your living room!" as I normally do when she and one of her friends has this conversation. I just wander into mine and Kendall's room, contemplative. I lay down on Kendall's side of the bed, clutching his pillow to my face.

That's how Kendall, finds me, 20 minutes later. I'm lying on his bed, his pillow on my face, flat on my back, just my eyes peeking out from underneath the pillow. I don't see him until he's climbing over my side of the bed, I'm so zoned out at this point.

I feel an arm going around my waist. "Hey" Kendall whispers, pulling me to his chest. "How are you feeling?" His breath on my ear, it feels so good. I feel so weak, because no matter how upset, how fucking hurt I am by seeing Kendall letting that slut rub herself all over him, I turn over. I burry my head into his chest, and begin shaking, trying not to cry.

He pulls me as close as he can. "What's wrong? Do you want some Tylenol?" he asks softly, thinking I'm sick and it's making me emotional. I look up at him, staring into his eyes, trying to making him see what I'm upset about. "Sweetie, I can't know what's wrong unless you tell me" He says. He loves me, I can see it now. But I'm still upset.

I just blink at him, still trying not to give in to the tears that are threatening to overflow. He can see that I'm trying not to cry, and it's scaring him, because I won't tell him what's wrong. He chews on his lip, anxiety clear in his features. "Jamie, you need to tell me what's wrong" he implores softly, his own eyes filled with apprehension. He thinks something is seriously wrong, and he's right, but probably not as right as he thinks he is.

I just stare at him, wondering how I got here. How I became such a girl. "I want to come out" I finally say. He looks at me, relief washing over his face, but then the worry floods back into his face, eyes darkening again, as he realizes that I have to have a reason for changing my mind. We both know we won't make it if we come out.

"Why?" he asks slowly.

I bite my lip, focusing on his eyes. He has beautiful eyes, I've always thought so. "Don't you know?"

"I know I'm amazing, but I don't know what you're thinking" Kendall tells me, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. "Are you hurt? Are you dying?" he asks, cupping my face with his hand. He's terrified and it breaks my heart. I shake my head, but don't respond. "Why then? Why the sudden change?"

"I hate it. I hate seeing girls through themselves all over you." I admit after a minute of awkward silence where he stares into my eyes and I stare back, willing him to get the telepathic waves I'm sending him. "I tell girls I'm just not interested, that I'm focusing on my career right now and I don't want a girlfriend. Why can't you tell them the same thing? I hate seeing you getting flirted with"

"I'm getting flirted with?" Kendall asks, surprise filling his features. "I thought that was normal"

"It's not. Girls who want to be friends don't have their hands this close to your crotch" I say, moving my hand right above his belt. "It's not normal, it's disgusting and I hate having to watch it. I just want everyone to know that you're mine. I'm the only one who should be able to touch you so personally"

Kendall sighs. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it was bothering you. I never really thought about it because it doesn't bother me, It's a part of this crazy life" he says, his hand on the small of my back, rubbing gently. I swear he was a masseuse in a past life; he's always massaging my back like that when we're alone. He's even found reasons to do it public, "If you really want to come out, we can. But if you'd rather wait, until we're at an age where people don't base their CD buying off of whether the singer is gay or straight, then we can. I'll just come up with something."

I smile into his eyes. I like how we're lying like this because it makes me feel protected. Suddenly, I almost completely forget I'm upset at all, he's just so sweet and it's going to give me a cavity. "I really don't think we'd even be allowed to come out yet" I say. "Hold them off" I whisper.

Kendall kisses my forehead. "Hey, I don't do anything like this with them. You're the only person I've dated that I've been alone in a bedroom with. " he says. "You have nothing to worry about. I'm with you, not them."

"But you seemed to kind have a thing for Bailee" I point out, remembering why I was so upset.

"She was cute but did you not hear that accent or see her roots? Or her lips? She wasn't even an option." Kendall says. "She would never have been, but after one minute with you, I wasn't even looking, to be honest. I was just trying to avoid her getting upset, her dad owns half of New York and we don't need girls like that upset with us" he points out. I sigh.

"So, I'm that amazing?" I ask.

"You're the best thing I've ever had" Kendall assures me. "You always have been. You were my favorite face, my favorite singer, my favorite partner in crime. Carlos was fun and Logan needed someone to liven him up when we were little, but you were the one I would do the crazy things with"

"Like painting Mrs. Majikowsky's lawn pink?" I ask, smiling at the memory. We were more pink than the lawn by the time we were done, because, boys will boys.

"Never did that with anyone else. I'm not looking at some blonde girl who thinks she's hot because she has a plastic nose, silicone boobs and lips and she might know how to make guys happy. But you're natural, you're perfect." Kendall says. He has me on my back again at this point and is straddling me. "I love you, not her. I hardly know her and I know you well enough to know, I'm never going to stop loving you." Kendall tells me. "I don't want anyone but you" he says, pulling my torso up.

I wrap my arms around his neck, throwing my head back in pure bliss as his lips press against my throat. He can't help but laugh at the groan that exits my throat. I feel his lips on the base of my neck, on my jaw bone and I hold onto him tighter. He kisses my ear next, but I don't know which one because I'm too thrilled right now to know anything but that Kendall is kissing me and I love it.

He finally pays some attention to my lips, slamming his mouth into mine. It's not quite making out, well, not like you see on TV. It's a different kind of passion. It's the kind of passion that says "I'm completely committed to you; you're the only thing in my life". It's a sweet fondness, not a obsession that he gives me. He's not claiming me as some possession like fan girls sometimes will. He's bound and determined to love me, treat me well, to love me forever. He knows me and cares about me; which is exactly why I have given myself up to him as a belonging, why I've given him complete control even though I'm so used to being in control. It's him and no other at this point and the idea of anyone else makes me feel gross. There is no going back; I have a tattoo with his name on it on my heart. And it can't be removed.

He bites on my lip, not enough to hurt, just hard enough to get my attention. I let out a soft moan into his mouth. His tongue searches every inch of my mouth, like he wants to make sure that nothing has changed since this morning. After a minute of careful inspection, he pulls away, breathing heavily. I love the way this feels, the way it feels to have his heart.

As much as I belong to him, his heart is in no better state. He can't leave me, he doesn't want anyone else. I understand that now. That smile that he gave her, didn't mean a thing. It wasn't genuine. What had with me was 'd die for me but at the same time, he lives for me. The same way I live for him. We need each other, because we're so perfect together. He's calm and cool and collected but doesn't care about his appearance at all, and I know exactly how to dress but not how to keep my head in a situation. He's the one, I know it. If I didn't know it already, I know it now. He's completely in love and so am I.

"I love you" Kendall reminds me, rolling off of me and pulling me close to him. I savor the feeling because it just feels so damn good. It's better than any thing in the world. I wouldn't trade moments like this for anything.

I smile up at him. "I know. I always knew. I guess I just need to be reminded sometimes"

The way Kendall loves, it's not a matter of he loves me, he loves me not. It's not hot and then cold. It's a matter of fake and genuine. Because Kenall is the most genuine person in the world but he's also the sweetest.

* * *

A/N: I just ran I friggen marathon! Lol, jk,. I love this! It's amazing! I love writing like I'm in James head, it makes it so much easier to write instead of flipping between all four boys, which is what I usually do. I love getting into the perspective of one character. It makes it easier to stay in character but also justify any uncharacteristic behavior.

That being said, I really want to know what you think. This was difficult to end because I wasn't sure where I wanted it to end and how. I feel like I ended it well though. I'm really proud of this.

I was going to write Chapter 19 of Scars on Your Heart tonight but I was getting kind of depressed and IT MUST BE PERFECT! It's an important chapter, in case you're reading it, it's probably the singularly most pivitotol chapter in the story. Don't know why I'm telling you that, just thought you'd like to know.

As for my other story, How Did I Get Here, a new chapter will go up late today or early tomorrow (I just realized its 4:30 in the morning) so yeah.

Feedback is the stuff I live on (no, but I do love waking up to a ton of reviews) hint. Hint. Hint.

Goodnight all.


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